You don't know me, but I've been around since the beginning of your career in the early nineties, and I feel that it is high time that you face the real truth of your issues, past and present.
First and foremost, your white mother taught you to identify with being a Black woman. That's wonderful, but the fact of the matter is, Halle, your identity is not that of a Black woman--it is only cerebral. Most Black women have other Black women to learn from, beginning with their mothers and grandmothers. How does a white woman instruct a biracial child how to identify with her Blackness? Basically, she can only make a suggestion, but can she give you instruction? No. Through examples, education and interaction; our Blackness is defined. Phenotype is not exclusive of having a deep rooted connection to a history of a people that birthed all mankind. What do you know of your father's people, Halle? Do you really know where you came from?
How then do you feel it is somehow your duty to identify with Black people if you don't even really know yourself? In this month's Ebony, you were interviewed and you stated that you want your daughter to identify herself as Black--because to you, she's Black. And you qualified this statement with a presumptuous statement to the Black community: that you "didn't want the Black community to think you had abandoned them because you had a child with a white man, Gabriel Aubry--whom you are not accusing of calling you the N-word, using the expletive "b*tch", and who "you say" went nuts over an article that referred to his daughter as Black. Also in that Ebony article, you seem to then contradict yourself that you will not be asserting race on your daughter: "What I think is that that's something she's going to have to decide. I'm not going to put a label on it. I had to decide for myself and that's what she's going to have to decide - how she identifies herself in the world." This is duality, Halle. Behavior typically associated with those claiming two races, but subconsciously trying to benefit from the one(white) that gives them access to arenas that monoracial Blacks have been locked out of. It's a cagey ruse, by not claiming to be Black--you aren't condemned by the majority group and allowed their favor. However, in truth, those who claim they are "biracial" and not Black, do so, willfully, as not to be labeled by something that society has demeaned. Having a white parent gives them access to White Privilege by proxy. It is a personal choice by them to play the middle; as not to totally be held in contempt by Blacks but at the same time; shrewdly not disavowing their close association with whites in order to maintain a certain comfort level as well as the benefit of having their favor because of their European/white blood.
My first question is, did you not know the character of the man you chose to have a child with? And now he's a racist after you split up? The question here really is what makes you think that we--the Black community, is thinking what you are thinking? Why would we assume that you had abandoned the Black community, Halle? Where is this coming from? And furthermore, no Black woman in her right mind would make a statement that she's not going to assert race on her child if she really is of that race. In a nutshell, Halle Berry, you sound ridiculous and confused.
Let's be real here, shall we...you have had a bad history with men--period. No one in the Black community is up in arms because you are going through, yet again, another bad break up. It's not his race that we question--it's YOU that we are taking full view of. A relationship is a reflection of character and for over 20 years, your history with men has been awful. We felt sorry for you back in the day when we found out that Wesley Snipes was the one responsible for causing the deafness in one of your ears, that is...until your divorces from David Justice and then Eric Benet and the controversial love scene with Billy Bob Thornton's character in Monster's Ball. Would a proud Black woman have subjected herself to such a racist depiction of Black female sexuality? Angela Bassett was first offered the role, but she wisely turned it down. Black men were shocked and appauled that the character would be sleeping--not only with a white man that was employed at the very prision and assisted in the execution of her late Black husband for murder, played at that time by Sean Combs; but Bill Bob Thornton was ugly as hell. It was simply unacceptable. But so goes fame...you won the Oscar for Best Actress anyway for portraying this vulgar stereotype. Angela Basett is a far better actress and has a stronger body of work, yet, she has not won and Oscar.
Things that make you go hmmmmm.....
For me...I have an even more personal reason to give you the slanted-eye look: Back in 1993, I was an avid listener to the Doug Bank's afternoon show when he was employed at WGCI in Chicago. Doug made it known to listeners about his infatuation with you at the time. Well, when the Soul Train Awards roled around that year, one of his producers was assigned to attend the show. Backstage, she spotted you, and approached your people for a possible on-air interview at the station the next time you were in Chicago. Apparently, she overheard you make a very unfriendly response to said person, "Well, who is he?" The producer returned to Chicago and told Doug about this. He was perplexed and began speaking to his listeners about your behavior--with the producer chiming in about the actuality of all that had occured. This went on for some time, and he implored his people to try to get you on the show so the matter could be cleared up. Well, you did come to the show some time later. Doug confronted you regarding what the producer had told him and even inferred that he was only trying to show you some love and support, but it appeared that you were getting a little "big-headed." You then got angry, flippant and stormed off the show. Yup. I was there. And it was you, Halle.
In a nutshell, girl...the Black community is not buying your act any longer. You're a drama queen and seem to have this unusual talent for attracting abusive men. Didn't your father abuse your mother, Halle? Have you dealt with that, really? We know that you have some serious issues and it's my advice that you seek spiritual and mental help.
Such a beautiful woman, but I find if all too ironic that you starred in a movie entitled, Monster's Ball, yet...the real monster that seems to be haunting you is deep within.
Stop blaming the men in your life for your relationship failures and take a long look in the mirror. From its reflection, the real truth shall be revealed as to why you can't keep a man.
This is the cake you baked Betty Crocker. EAT IT!!!