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Wednesday, September 1, 2010

A Letter To Black Men: The Perception of You To Us...
Louis Farrakhan on Interracial Relationships...

Today, I felt the urging to speak to this issue, primarily because it has caused such a psychological disturbance on the entire Black community for decades. There is just one thing I can say in seeing so many Black males getting in relationships with or marrying either white or other non Black mates: YOU EMBARRASS the Black community.

That's really the issue.

Jill Scott described it in her Essence article as that "wince" you get whenever you see a picture of a Black man in particular in an IR union.

The indifferent amongst us will say, "Hey, love is blind, you should be with who you want, but collectively, as a people; it's a ludicrous statement when you have over 70% of Black children being raised in single parent homes. The perception is that Black people don't want to be with each other--even though...statistical ly, the majority Blacks marry each other.

For a few weeks now, I've been trying to come up with the words to describe what I and other Black people feel who just aren't attracted to people from other people from other race or color groups. We dig being Black! We love being around Black people! We love Black food, culture, attitude, style, thought, speech--everything! We're not running away from who we are. And those that feel the pull to get in relationships with people who are not Black, draw suspicion from us. What's your problem? We just don't get it.

The Black family is sacred. I grew up in a community with Black men married to Black women who had nice looking chidren, who dressed well, they spoke well, and carried themselves well. When we went to church, you saw these families and everyone was proud and had dignity. We like these type of families and it's how we all see ourselves. Whenever most of us see a Black man or Black woman with a white or non Black man or woman, first, we look--we could be thinking a myriad of thoughts, but if we are honest, the control thought is while rolling our eyes is "Oh, Lord, another one ..." and we shake our heads...and say nothing. But the thought lingers. We just don't say anything.

But truthfully, it leads us to wonder if there is something mentally wrong within many Black people that get involved in these relationships. IR relationships are adverstised as " racial progress ." How in the hell can you call this racial progress with so many young Black women who are not in married relationships or who are single mothers? Black men continue to outnumer Black women in IR relationships. But what is making them choose these women over Black women? The media has always promoted White beauty and dismissed Black beauty. But white women in particular, are literally killing themselves to have features that Black women are born with. So, are Black men buying into White Power by proxy. Some of us think so.

The Black man is singled out primarily because of the historical hatred directed at him by white males. Can I just be real: There has been a conspiracy against Black men--and particularly at the Black father by removing him from the home. Black women continue to cry out because we have images going through
our minds of racial hatred in this country and some just can't
understand how Black men can sleep with women who are the descendants of people who thought it was entertaining and right to lynch Black men in their honor? Why do you desire your oppressor's woman? And to put salt in an old wound: the stupidity of esteeming white women as they denigrate Black women and dishonor them through sociopathic misogyny, is absolutely incendiary. Black women cry out because it's wrong! It is EVIL and a product of hell. And they will not tolerate being disrespected. It is Black women who have kept Black families together, who work to keep our communities in tact. They are the only true allies of Black men. HELL YEAH!  We're protective of Black men because it's a Black woman(his mother, sister, grandmother) that suffers if that man is harmed or killed. It's the Black community that is weakened.

Some Black women may not understand why some of their sisters object to a Black man with a white woman, but those of us who are older and wise, we know what is the truth.

This is what Black women remember subconsciously whenever they see a Black man with a white woman:
Click the image to open in full size.

White women at KKK wedding

Click the image to open in full size.

You see all of those white women the lifeless bodies of those brothers?

Click the image to open in full size.

Found this one by accident or maybe serendipity...appare ntly, it really speaks volumes, huh?

Frankly, why don't some Black men just put swastikas on their arms and shout WHITE POWER ! when out with their white dates/wives and mixed children that don't look like them?

Do you hate the fact that you came from a Black womb so much that being with a Black woman is the one thing that you must avoid in order to live your lie?

Basically, the prevailing thought going through the minds of many of us is that some of you have lost your minds. You look foolish and given the recent Black males who have had bad press involving their relationships with white or non Black women, Tiger Woods, Tiki Barber, Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Reggie White, O.J. Simpson, as well as the recent deaths of Steve McNair and Gary Coleman; we shake our heads and ask: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH SOME OF YOU ?!?! These are celebrities, but every time you turn on the television or look in a magazine, you see some prominent Black male cheesing it up for the camera as he holds his white or non Black woman close. Almost like saying to the world, " Look, World! I've finally made it Big! " Even Black men are beginning to question loudly their Black brothers who keep getting in these type of relationships.

The concern is frankly, white people are now afraid because of the economy and per usual, they are looking to blame someone for their suffering. They aren't so nice now. And given the treatment that Mexicans are receiving in Arizona, the constant criticism of Obama and casual racism that has been creeping up, some of you better get a reality check. **** is soon going to hit the fan.

Black men in IR's-- WAKE UP !!! You are an embarrassment to your people and we are not going to continue to protect you from whites who one day are going to remind you what they really think of you. We will not come to your aid when it's not so hip to have a white chick. And we will not pray for you when these white women wake up from their sleepwalking--and looks at this Black body next to her and holler RAPE !

It's the perception that Black men need to think about. How do you look to your own people? Do you ask yourselves that? Yet, you seek comfort in the arms of white women, whose mothers and grandmothers laughed at the swinging Black bodies of lynched Black men, who laughed when white men beat Black men up with billy clubs and bats, who laughed when dogs were sicked on Black men, women and children--and you talk about their soft skin or how they support you or don't give you drama?


I don't know what happened in a generation to Black people, but it is high time for the Black community to purge itself of this bacteria and restore dignity to our people.


Anonymous said...

I stumbled upon this blog by accident, but I'm glad I did. I am a very proud 32 year old Black woman. I have a wonderful education, a wonderful career, and a wonderful relationship with both my Black mother AND my Black father. I have dated Black, White, Asian, and Hispanic men. I fell in love and married a White man. I guess that I, like these "self-hating brothers" you speak of, also hate myself and my race. I am sorry to disappoint you sister, but I have the utmost respect for me, my Black father, and all those Black men and Women who sacrificed their lives so that I could live freely. I am so utterly liberated in taking responsibility for myself, my actions, and my relationships. You too should focus on what YOU are doing to draw the wrong men into your life or dear I say, let go of some of this anger that you have for Black men. I am so joyous and in love because I stopped focusing on someone to blame (white women) and began to focus on my individual happiness. AND if you do choose this bitter approach you seem to be taking, good luck and be blessed.

The Uppity Sistah! said...

This has nothing to do with me being bitter. Frankly, I'm doing just fine when it comes to men.

What this is basically, is a direct expression to Black men--who have been more than vocal about their disdain for Black women--and use white women as some type of lynch rope to defame the very women that took care of them.

I for one am not going to tolerate it.

Even the media seems to be jumping on the bandwagon these days in insulting Black women. Why is everyone concerned about who we date, why we are single, why we are single with children, and the biggest clincher, ABC's infamous program a few months ago asking, Why Can't Successful Black Women Find Husbands?

Why are we the focus of everything wrong with Black men? Sometimes you have to ask the right question in order to get the right answer.

Why any Black woman would take offense to what I said, is rather perplexing, particularly those who know full well that what I'm speaking to is an attitude and racist presumption in the minds of many white women that has become incendiary, disrespectful as well as questionable.

Why does a Black man have to insult a Black woman in order to validate his reason for being with a white woman? Is Love really the force that brought Black men and white women together, or as Louis Farrakhan asked: "Is it lust?"

I'm happy that you are happy about being married to a white man, sweety, but this was just an honest comment about something that I've seen all too often and I'm just asking: Where is this coming from?