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Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Do Single Mothers Raise Bad Sons?

Responsibility must be taken before solutions to problems can occur.

As an African American woman, I have noticed the high rate of single Black mothers in the African American community and it disturbs me.

When you look around today, it's very rare to see young Black men who are setting the examples that their fathers taught them. More realistically, far too many young Black males have been raised by single Black mothers-of which, those that go bad, are a result of mothers who did not do their jobs.

Don't get me wrong, I have much respect for single women who've raised wonderful young men who've gone on to become responsible citizens and fathers.

However, there must be acknowledgement of the 1,000,000 Black men in the penal institution. If over 83% of them were raised in homes without fathers; isn't it logical to conclude that women can't handle the responsibility of raising young boys?

It takes a man to raise a man.

The young Black men that I see everyday are typically badly dressed, look uclean and it's obvious that they have been indoctrinated into this Thug subculture that is really destroying so many young lives.

I get angry at times-I want to do something to help, but what?

Young unwed girls having baby after baby...who's offspring is destined typically to feed the criminal system.

In many American cities, all you see are young Black men standing on corners, yet, it is these same young men who'll swear that "The White Man" is holding them down.

I'm not listening to that...not at all.

What's holding down many young Black men? They are holding themselves down. It's a mentality that exists in far too many that says: "I have to be an underachieving criminal and get my stripes in prison and then I'll be considered a man."

What are we to do as a community?

Some Black folks, particularly middle class Black folk, are tired of carrying dead weight. No more sympathy and enabling. It's time for men to put up or shut up.

Sometimes I feel the same, but I'd really like a solution to this destruction that I see.

America is the land of opportunity and yes, racism has been a factor in much of what happens to young Black males, but a lot of the behavior that is being emulated by young Black men is a direct result of the hypermasculinity that is seen in many of today's hottest rap acts. Misogyny, sexism, violence, it is the dominant characteristic of Hip-Hop and many of the current entertainers of this genre are becoming rich by packaging this degredation in their music and image.

Change must come through introspection. One must change their perceptions in order to truly change their opinions.

I for one am not afraid to object vocally and publically what I see.

Black men are not just criminals, many are choosing to get an education and become successful, but compared to Black women, they still lag behind. Black women on average graduate from college moreso than Black men. The saddest reality is that there are more Black men in prison than in college.

What does this mean for the future?

There must be more education to young women to raise their standards and stop dating and having children with criminals or those young men who are morally deficient.

Women set the berometer of male behavior and whatever they will concede to.

As a proud African American woman, I desire those that represent my community to be the best at what they choose to be and learning to love one's self first, ensures that the man chosen by young women will be the "right man" who will make a positive contribution to society and honor and protect his wife and children.

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