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Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Marriage For Me, Thanks...

This will be brief, but just about all of my adult life, I've listened to the negatives from people who are against marriage, and in my opinion, if you're against marriage, you either have a poverty mentality or can't commit to anyone and generally are not trustworthy or dependable.

Most people understand marriage to be the union of a man and woman through a private contract, legally, it means: Marriage… is the civil status of one man and one woman united in law for life, for the discharge to each other and the community of the duties legally incumbent on those whose association is founded on the distinction of sex."- Black's Law Dictionary, dating back to 1891

The Heritage Foundation gives this definition: The benefits of marriage: Marriage is uniquely beneficial to society because it is the foundation of the family and the basic building block of society.
  • It brings significant stability and meaning to human relationships.
  • It remains the ideal for the raising of children.
  • It plays an important role in transmitting culture and civilization to future generations.
Marriage is not merely a private contract, but a social institution of great public value and concern. As social science research and government surveys increasingly show, the decline in marriage since the 1960s has been accompanied by a rise in a number of serious social problems.

Statistically, married couples are much wealthier and happier.

My paternal grandparents were married for 67 years. My grandmother passed away in 2007. However, I saw my grandparents committed to each other--she was my grandfather's best friend. Their love and respect, as well as committment to each other was inspiring.

Marriage is not all roses and you have to work at it for it to be successful as any other thing in life.

Thus, it's marriage for me...

Why should anyone fear the one thing that can bring about the stability that all human beings desire?


Anonymous said...

Honestly, this is a topic that I have some mixed emotions about, as too, too many of our people, have bought into the lust-as-love principles that define matrimony, AmeriKKKan-style.

People have become too fucking selfish and narcissistic, to be able to make themselves over into quality mates.

That is one of the many reasons why I stopped dating altogether, after getting burned one too many times.

Blame it on bad choices, missed blessings, or pure circumstance, but it reached a point with me that now, I honestly feel that it is far better to be my own man, instead of trying to be someone else's man, because the well has become too poisoned and toxic for me to drink from anymore.

Anonymous said...

Sistah, you are so right. My family also boasts several inspiring, long lasting, happy marriages.

Children do better when their parents are married to one another and living in the same home, than even the most loving parents that are merely cohabitating.

The most extreme example I know of are two sets of cousins whose parents were badly married. In fact, one marriage was pretty bad, and yet they were surrounded by examples of good marriages, so they had children in wedlock and have married well.


The Uppity Sistah! said...

Marriage is a choice. Either one wants to marry or not. However, if one decides to marry; I suggest seeking a minister and having a long talk and really open up yourself to discuss concerns and allow honest counsel. Also, stop listening to negative people. That is one of the worst problems I think why so many people degrade the institution of marriage.

Many people out there have married and have been successful. I'm sure that all marriages have their ups and downs, but one has to at least give your marriage a chance by approaching it with a positive mindset and a willingness to make it work--no matter what.