The Game of Power!

From the beginning; it was about power. The first battle for power took place in the heavens:Lucifer, the highest of the Archangels, became incensed when God called upon all of the angelic forces to bow before his creation--man. Lucifer found this despicable and and refused to debase himself and asked: "a son of fire should be forced to bow before a son of clay?" And thus, the war began. He convinced a third of the angels to join him to overthrow God--all life and heaven's Creator. This was insurrection and as any earthly king would do; God banished Lucifer and kicked him and all of the angels from their heavenly dwelling forever. From the beginning, Christ made it perfectly clear that Satan/Lucifer was the enemy.

This battle is still waging. The great Apostle Paul wrote: That we battle not against flesh and blood, but against powers and principalities of powers." Ephesians 6:12

As relates to us humans, our battle also is related to power. But many human beings don't even understand that they have any power. They wonder why criminals, politicians and the wealthy rule over them? Why? Because the one thing all in those categories realize--it's all about power.

What is power? Wikipedia explains power as a philosophy: Power is a measure of an entity's ability to control its environment, including the behavior of other entities. Power is also defined as "the capacity to bring about change." It takes many forms, comes from many places, and is measured in many ways. Understanding all the varieties of power is essential if one is to understand who has it, who doesn't, and how those who don't have it can get it.

Essays that are useful to read to better understand this complex concept include:

• Understanding Power - If power were one-dimensional, we could easily agree on who has more and who has less. However, we are often surprised when a seemingly less powerful party holds a more powerful party at bay. This introductory essay discusses both potential and actual power, and the sources and forms of each.
• Coercive Power - Huey Newton wrote, "Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed." Though not all politics is coercive, it is certainly one way among others to force people to do what you want them to do, against their will. Though coercive power is sometimes powerful, it usually has a lot of destructive effects, which are explained in this essay, along with the benefits of coercion.
• Aggression - This essay explores the debate over aggression, and whether it is an instinct, a reaction, or a learned response.
• Revenge and the Backlash Effect - Most people hate to be forced to do things against their will. Using threats often produces such a large backlash, that more problems are created than are solved.
• Sanctions - Sanctions are punishments that are used to try to influence other nation-states' behavior. Examples are embargoes and prohibitions from attending international events. The benefits and problems with sanctions are described in this essay.
• Exchange Power - In simple terms, exchange power means that, "I do something for you, in order to get you to do something for me." However, this simple concept has formed the basis for very complex human interactions, including, for example, our economic system.
• Incentives - Incentives involve rewarding another party for changing their behavior. Although incentives have been frequently associated with weakness or indecisiveness, they can be an effective approach for changing behavior and resolving conflicts.
• Integrative Power - Integrative power is the power that binds humans together. Kenneth Boulding calls it "love" or, "if that is too strong," he says, "call it respect." Though seldom studied or discussed, Boulding argues that it is the strongest form of power, especially because the other two forms (exchange and coercive power) cannot operate without the presence of integrative power.
• Persuasion - Persuasion is the ability to change people's attitudes, largely through the skillful use of language. Martin Luther King's "Letter from Birmingham Jail" is a classic example of persuasion.

What much of the world suffers from is power inequality. Low Power groups are those who are impacted from lack of resources mainly, but also, this can be related to group perceptions, geography, class, and the lack of education Link:http://www.beyondintractability.org/user_guides/third_side/equalizers_why-power-inequality-problem.jsp

 However, I'll assert this more practical understanding of power: when I was in tenth grade, there was a girl in my class named Jennifer. Jennifer seemed to be much older than most of the class--not in years, but the way she talked, indicated that she had a better understanding of what life was all about. That intrigued me. One day, during a break, I overheard Jennifer state to a classmate, "you don't get what you put into life, you get what you take." A light within me went on. I knew she was right about that. Although I never said a word to Jennifer, that girl opened up some serious insight that has lasted in me till this day.

Basically, I have always known one thing about myself: My main objective in all I do is TO GET WHAT I WANT!

And that is the truth ladies and gentleman. This is the nature of ALL POWER. And I highly suggest that if you want to keep what you have--understand that the reason why credit card companies, banks, government, celebrities, politicians, rich people and most certainly ALL criminal entities rule; it's because they understand the Game of Power.

Learn it. And you'll never be a victim a day in your life.

Marriage For Me, Thanks...

This will be brief, but just about all of my adult life, I've listened to the negatives from people who are against marriage, and in my opinion, if you're against marriage, you either have a poverty mentality or can't commit to anyone and generally are not trustworthy or dependable.

Most people understand marriage to be the union of a man and woman through a private contract, legally, it means: Marriage… is the civil status of one man and one woman united in law for life, for the discharge to each other and the community of the duties legally incumbent on those whose association is founded on the distinction of sex."- Black's Law Dictionary, dating back to 1891

The Heritage Foundation gives this definition: The benefits of marriage: Marriage is uniquely beneficial to society because it is the foundation of the family and the basic building block of society.

• It brings significant stability and meaning to human relationships.
• It remains the ideal for the raising of children.
• It plays an important role in transmitting culture and civilization to future generations.

Marriage is not merely a private contract, but a social institution of great public value and concern. As social science research and government surveys increasingly show, the decline in marriage since the 1960s has been accompanied by a rise in a number of serious social problems.

Statistically, married couples are much wealthier and happier.

My paternal grandparents were married for 67 years. My grandmother passed away in 2007. However, I saw my grandparents committed to each other--she was my grandfather's best friend. Their love and respect, as well as committment to each other was inspiring.

Marriage is not all roses and you have to work at it for it to be successful as any other thing in life.

Thus, it's marriage for me...

Why should anyone fear the one thing that can bring about the stability that all human beings desire?



3 Stories to Learn From and Grow By...

Gather around everybody.

For some time, I've been thinking about a lot of things: people that have passed away...and the people I used to know, seem to consume my thoughts.

Many people take life for granted and never really stop to take in what they are experiencing.

I've met people from around the world and at last count; at least 48 states. That's a lot of people...with various backgrounds, life experiences and knowledge. What have I learned from them? So much.

Everywhere I go, people will engage me in conversation--I don't have to try and muster up discussions, they just seem to evolve. I often tell some of my friends, associates and family that they wouldn't believe what some folks have told me. I started thinking about a lot of the stories I've been told and began editing my brain and pick the ones that really struck me the most. On that note, I'd like to share these three stories:

Tabatha: Tabatha is a former coworker that I knew about 8 years ago. She lives in Chicago--grew up on the West Side. Anyone that lived or grew up in Chi can tell you that the West Side is not a great place to be--the violence is off the chain. Tabatha often would tell me the most intriguing stories about life in her neighborhood and in her family. During lunch one day I along with her and some other coworkers got into a discussion about death. Tabatha told us about her two older brothers, both of whom had died 8 months apart. The first brother died suddenly--she was 17. Tabatha told us that after the funeral...some months later, she was just laying down in her room. All of a sudden, she felt the bed compressed. She was facing the wall--and turned over to see who it was. Tabatha said that her late brother, was sitting on the edge of her bed, just looking at her. She began screaming uncontrollably and ran out of the room. It took her family over an hour to calm her down. For those who've always wondered...we really do survive death.

Monica: Ms. Monica Y. Our class "It Girl." She got voted for (((EVERYTHING))). Monica and I have known each other since third grade, but we were never friends. Junior High, High School, we would chat, but it was always banal--not like true girlfriends. Monica was too busy being the popular girl. Her head swelled from that. I and some other people got turned off and basically we made the decision that Ms. Monica was a little too special for us. Graduation came...and well, afterwards, everyone went their separate ways. Monica went off to college, only to drop out after she met a young, smooth talking cat named Clifford. He gave her diamonds, bought her a car...and gave the impression that he could fulfill all of her needs. She bought into the bling. They got married--a wedding fit for a princess. Her prince became a monster and would beat her. But she stayed, because of the "things" he'd bring her. Then...we found out: Clifford was a drug kingpin. Her family got involved. The government got hot on Clifford's tail and made their move. When he was arrested, Monica's mother lost her job at a very large pharmaceutical company--her father was indicted, a real estate agent and a lawyer, all part of the drug ring. Long story short, Clifford cut a deal with the government and got five years--only because he brought other folks down with him. Many people's lives were ruined. Monica was damn lucky she didn't do time. I guessed he really loved her, part of the deal was that she wouldn't be touched. Monica ended up raising two boys alone, and on Welfare. She's OK now...that was a long time ago, but sometimes it's not always a great thing, being the "It Girl" especially when smooth talking dudes entice a naive girl into thinking that easy money doesn't have a price.

James: Another classmate. Since third grade. James was always a cut up. But there was something else he was known for: his temper. Saw him hit a guy so hard in the chest--you could actually feel it. That was 5th grade. We went on to high school. James began dating a girl named Lauanna. She was a cute girl--had a great body. James was aggressive and he began to beat her. One of my friends saw him beating her in the hallway during a bathroom break. He was literally smashing her head against the wall. No one came to intervene. That was 10th grade. 7 years ago, after conversing with an old classmate, she told me that James had been beaten badly--so badly, he was in a coma. I asked her what happened, and she told me that he had hit his...then girlfriend. Her brothers and other family members confronted him. They beat him unconscious--he was put on life support. After some time, he came out of the coma and he healed slowly physically, but never mentally or spiritually. I found out through some reunions on Facebook that James had died from a drug overdose in 2006. I thought about Lauanna. Karma really is a B*tch.

You can take what you want from these stories...but just understand, that everything happens for a reason...and everyone has a story to tell.

Thanks for listening...

Once Upon A Time When I Gave A Damn...



The one advantage to getting older and wiser is that you begin to see how much time you wasted worrying about what people think. I used to care, but now, I'll tell you my opinion and really not give a damn if you disagree with me. It's my right to think as I choose. My batting average is pretty high: I have above average common sense, God-given wisdom and I know that I was raised well. My values are superb compared to many of my contemporaries and thus; my thoughts have value because I live what I speak.

The world is screwed up mainly because so many people worry about what others think. Many live in fear, stay in relationships they hate, have friendships and associations with people they truly despise and stay in jobs that don't fulfill them, simply...because they are worried about how so and so is going to respond.

Who gives a flip!

I own everything I do. I am the CEO of my life and I will always maintain veto power. What someone else thinks means nothing. You know why? One can suggest something. One can tell me what to do, but ultimately; I am the one that must live with the consequences of my choices. Thus, do what you like--and THINK about what you do before you do it.

I mind my business. Honestly, I just don't have the time to worry about what other people are doing.

Live your life and stop wasting time being hindered by those who don't have the courage to live their own lives without apology.

Honestly, I'm Really FED UP With White Folks!

This month, I had decided to take a break from racial issues, but, last Friday, I got preoccupied in a board debate regarding the young girls in Maryland who beat up the transgender white man/woman. Added to this, everyday I turn on the news, Donald Trump is still pushing the birther issue. It has already been proven that Obama was born in Hawaii, but that is not enough for the most radical elements within the Republican party; some are making accusations that Obama doesn't want to show his birth certificate because he is really a Muslim and it states this on his birth certificate. CNN just did an investigation and reported yesterday that they not only located Obama's birth certificate--they verified the information and also added an addendum of even showing an old birth announcement that clearly indicates his birth on the date of delivery. Would you know, that people are now saying that Obama's family had this information faked because "they knew he would run for president."  Almost 50 years to him actually running. Huh? I just sat there along with some co-workers and we just all agreed that these people are just racist and logically, because of their pathological arrogance, some just can't be reasoned with.

Some white folks actually have accused Obama of being racist.

This is actually helping Obama. Because clearly...there are some crazy people in the Republican party.

After that report, CNN had segments of angry white folks shouting down members of Congress during state town hall meetings.

I asked my co-workers, when are Black people going to start getting angry? WHEN???? Blacks have the highest level of unemployment. Poverty is still a problem in many urban areas, as well as rural counties. Black males are dropping out of high school at extremely high rates and teenage pregnancy accounts for half of all births now in the Black community.

When will Black people begin to vocalize their anger and frustration at the Obama administration? A better question would be: Do White People Really Understand How Irritating They Are To People Who Are Not White????

Don't even get me started about the absence of Blacks being nominated for the Oscars. And even American Idol is getting whiter. You rarely even see Black people on television anymore.

What is going on in this country?

As a Black woman, I have to literally pray in order to get some divine assistance and strength in order to not go off on white folks. Living in Georgia has not only made me realize just how racist white people are innately. Many southern whites are intellectually dishonest and really don't think anything is wrong in celebrating the Civil War--waving rebel flags on their pick-up trucks, homes and t-shirts. Some will even smile at you and have the audacity to tell you, "God bless your heart..." What does that mean? I watch in silence. I shake my head. And my smile is a lie. Deep down, I'm plotting to hurt these people if they continue in their ignorance. Black people subconsciously assist them through their acquiescence, and allow them to keep oppressing them subliminally down here.

Interracial coupling is not the cure-all for racism. And being in an IR union is not an indicator that your partner is not racist.

Quite frankly, one couldn't pay me enough money to date or marry a white man. I love Black men and think they are the sexiest men on earth. Black people should honor each other more in my opinion. And there is no better way to do that than to marry someone that reminds you of yourself.

Basically, I really don't know how long my reserve is going to last, but I'm telling you, when you keep goading a fight with someone, one day; it's gon' come.

Get a copy of my new book.  Available on Amazon.com and other online stores (also on Kindle)

Thug Life: Young Black Males At Their Worst!

Although I loved the late Tupac Shakur as an artist; the movement he endorsed has become a way of life for too many....

The walk...the look...the glare...the attitude. A symbol of defiance, arrogance, undisciplined and unapologetic. This is the image of the young Black male.  Because of this image, I am ashamed to admit just how many young Black males could have lost their lives if they would have dared approach me wrong.

Although I loved Tupac as an artist, his slogan, Thug Life has become a pariah to the casual observer. Every single day...I see some of the worst sites one can see when just viewing people out in public.

Can someone please tell me when...WHEN? when will young Black women wake up and stop fooling around with young men and even grown ass old men who support this type of lifestyle and image?

I am a grown woman and I can remember my twenties very well...and never...absolutely NEVA!!! would I be caught walking with a dude that had his pants hanging off of his @ss--no shirt or a wife beater--if that...and corn rows. To each his own, yes. But the choice of a mate reflects one's character and there is nothing about men who represent criminality, lack of values and upbringing as well as general self-respect. There is nothing of value in the streets and I despise men who have the attitude that all it takes is muscles, tattoos and a big dyck. No. Character, values, hard work ethic,trust, honor, respect is what a man of distinction and importance knows makes him a man.

The proverbial, well dressed Black man is what I remember seeing growing up. These bruthas were GQ down and were very conscientious of their dress, manner, and most definitely how they looked to young women.

Perhaps the lack of male role models in the family is one reason and in my opinion, it takes a man to MAKE A MAN.

But most important, women--young women in particular, set the barometer of social trends of young males. And if a woman does not value herself; she will most certainly attract men that don't value her as well.

Celebrities Are Becoming Passe...



Ain't it the truth...Andy Warhol predicted this over 30 years ago.

There was a time when America loved celebrities...they had such cache' and panache. They were the symbols of what we dreamed and desired. Their talent made us pay attention, but today, celebrities can by your next door neighbor--outed on Youtube for cleaning the house in his/her underwear. Reality shows have literally forced great soap operas to be cancelled. Everyone wants to be a a clown. And real talent these days... puuuhhhlllleeeaaassseee.

The atomic question: WHY IN THE HELL ARE KIM KARDASHIAN, PARIS HILTON AND EVEN JENNIFER LOPEZ (Arrgg...RISING FROM OBSCURITY thanks to AI ) EVEN FAMOUS?!?! Not one of them has any talent--just infamy. Paris' hustle : Her pathological narcissism. Kim's hustle : Her big ass(for a white chick). Jennifer's hustle : Can't sing...can dance a little, but her too...that ass(for a Latina). As they age, do you think it's going to matter? Not really. Honestly. They need a reality check. But P.T. Barnum said it best: " There's a sucker born every minute ." So tell me...how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop?

[Sarcasm]

Help us, Lord...

I used to buy a lot of music, but I swear, I can count on both hands just how many cd's I've actually purchased in 5 years.

Two words: Justin Bieber. Why is this boy famous? I don't get it...and don't want to. Usher saw something I guess when he discovered him, but for the casual realist like myself, I have to say that Mr. Usher is a pimp, and is GETTING PAID off of this white kid.  Reality bites.  And as I see it: Justin Bieber is a mediocre fluke who is only famous because: White fathers would rather their precious little white daughters screaming for him than Little Wayne.

That's the point.

The Black musicians of yesteryear came from a legacy of "paying dues". Many of them came up performing in live clubs before getting in the studio. They learned all the ropes about performing before touring. Older Black entertainers always helped the next generation excel to the next level--it was our culture. But during the late nineties; something happened in music. Many record companies started eliminating their Black music divisions and the mediocre talent that you see today is a result of lack of artistic development.

Ask Rhianna, Ciara, Kelly Rowland(an exception...but), none of them know how to keep an audience interested. Rhianna has had to cancel numerous tour dates due to poor ticket sales. Now when folks don't want to hear you live--that is the ultimate insult. People got tired in the late nineties paying $19-$20 dollars for bad Cd's. Enters Napster...and changes the game completely. The record industry got caught sleeping and it hasn't been the same since.

Something has got to change, or the record industry is going to go the route of Enron, World Com and other businesses that forgot that "quality" matters to the consumer.


It was good while it lasted. Saw some great moments in the movies, television and in music growing up, but all good things have to come to an end and I feel that the age of the celebrity is now a thing of the past.

Never Once Have I Ever Regretted Being Born A Black Woman...



When God was planning my arrival, he could have made me anything. I could have been born in Portugal, Indonesia, Romania, Japan, Brazil, et al, but he chose me to be born in Augusta Georgia, at precisely 10:20 a.m. on July 8th, 19___.  Ha. My business, but the point is...not once in my life have I ever looked in the mirror and wished to be someone else. I love my skin, my eyes, my nose, my hair and most importantly; I feel blessed being a Black woman. I feel like I hit 777 in the lottery. The dice keeps rolling 7's. I keep pulling Aces from the deck. I am a symbol of beauty that can't be duplicated. I'm in a royal class. Their is joy in my spirit for I know that I was born of love...and I've always felt special.

Whether or not anyone accepts me for me, I really don't care. The most important validation of my existence is self-acceptance. And Lord, I thank you for giving me the gift and honor of being a Black woman. Everyday I walk outside my home; I'm representing former queens, intelligent mothers, proud grandmothers and gifted women who birthed every Black woman there is. My head is held high. My walk is straight and I look forward as each step is precisioned toward my destination.

It is not what I am that matters, but what it means to be that. Being a Black woman means that we are born to be first. Africa birthed the first queens. That regality is deep within me. My spirit soars and I don't need a throne. Folks see me and automatically are motivated to bestow respect fit for one who was born to be exalted.

I AM A BLACK WOMAN. Proud and free.

Thank you, Lord.

I love who I am and every single day...I fly with my feet firm on the ground, but soar each time I spread my wings like an eagle and glide with a firm wind above the clouds.

[Orchestra begins...]

Ahhhhhhhh..........Yeah! I always feel like I am the Greatest even when the world tries to tell me I'm not.

I WIN!



The Truth Shall Set You Free...



Jesus said it...and I'm a living witness to that.

When I was in my early twenties, I came to a cross-road in my life. Honestly, I really didn't know what direction I was supposed to take. It caused me great inner turmoil and for the first time in my life; I really was confused and it scared me. One morning, I woke up...and I literally cried out to God and asked him to "SHOW ME WHO I AM." Some of you have probably heard folks say: Be careful what you ask for. Well...literally, for a seven year period, I had to face every single fear that I had--out in the open. Folks saw the real me. And it wasn't pretty sometimes. This experience not only made me take a look at myself; it forced me to GET REAL and take it like a woman. If you can't be real with yourself, you can't be real with anyone. I didn't understand what I was going through nor why, but deep down; God had a plan and I'd just have to trust that. Over time, I began to mature. I also developed a fearlessness that I had never known. By confronting my demons, I began to discover a lot of the anger I had contained was released and life began to look more promising. I still didn't know where I was going, but I had to trust that inner voice. This became my adventure. A Quest if you will...it was my Odyssey. There was something shaping and molding me and I'd have to face my obstacles if I were to evolve.

A preacher once said that in order to advance we must face adversity.

I now know what it means to value friendships, family, community, faith, being authentic, and above all...being TRUTHFUL. I was in search of the truth. And the only way I could find it, I had to look inside for the truth in me.

Today, I look back on those years and all of the lessons I've since learned, have made sense of my experiences.

You see, one of the major reasons why people have so much dysfunction in their lives is related to them not facing the fear inside of them. Every decision they make from that point is based from fear; not wisdom, or clarity, integrity, etc. Fear distorts the truth. The truth is what we all have to face if we are to have a good life.

I faced my truth. The chains that bound me broke. And I was set me free.

Have you faced your truth?

Damnit! I'm Tired of Weak African Americans!

The one thing I was taught as a child is: It's not what you put into life--IT'S WHAT YOU TAKE.

If you want respect...STAND UP and carry yourself like you deserve it. You teach people how to treat you.

I'm so...so...tired of the weakness that I hear and see in Black America. What happened to the strong voices of the past? Yes, many old warriors have passed away, but where are the new generals to take their place?

No one wants to lead. Everyone is a follower. People don't take initiative to create new platforms--they keep rehashing old, washed out ideals that have long expired.

Be bold!

I learned from the strong. The people in my community set the example of what true leadership is and the importance of empowerment.

The Black community in certain areas is weak because of the lack of courage of those in those communities to take initiative and make their voices heard.

White folks have no real power over us any longer. The problem with some Black people is that many traded in their values and began to become enamored with the standards of a culture that quite frankly; has no sign or redemption, humility, compassion, spirituality and on certain levels, basic humanity, for its fellow human beings. Black people have been contaminated by too close association with a race of people that does not and cannot value anything beyond its innate and pathological narcissism and arrogance.

Once upon a time, not so long ago...I actually heard a white man tell a Black man that white folks may fight over various things, but Black people fight each other.

Uh...ya think they don't notice how we work against each other? Divide and Conquer is a game that the white man has mastered and we keep getting played.

The Tea Party is a good example of this. White men destroyed the economy. Let's be real about it. But strangely, Black people have the highest unemployment. And yet, white folks convinced our newly elected, and first Black President, that they...and THEY ALONE were being hurt the most. And they did something about it. They voted and got people in the White House now who are selling their pain to the powers that be.

Black folks chose not to vote. Many of those elections last November could have been to the favor of Democrats, but a lot of us just shrugged our shoulders and stayed at home.

What Happened To Black Power? Ambivalence costs a hell of a lot. And yet, Black folks are the ones who need the cash the most. White folks pick pocketed us again.

I don't blame white folks for Black failure. If Blacks fail today, it's because far too many have not dedicated themselves to building up their own families, communities and gaining political power.

Enough is enough.

Get off your texting, Twittering asses and DO SOMETHING about your issues.